these last few days have been tough.
I have been thinking, am I doing what I am supposed to be doing?
last night was covenant group, a small group my church assigns people to, I am in the "singles" and yeah, I, the eighteen year old, am totally the youngest one there... by a few years, if not 15... ha! We are watching "The Truth Project" (awesome, I have seen it a couple times and I am still learning) and we got off subject a little bit and started talking about are we doing what we are supposed to be doing??
I have already been freaking out about this... and now here are these late twenties, early thirties singles talking about this really deep, philosophical question... I have never felt so small, meaningless, insignificant and unintelligent in my whole life.
So, am I supposed to go to SBI? Should I pursue a four year degree? Stay at home and help with a plan? These meaningless questions are huge to me, because in this time of my life, that is what I think about...
I can't even explain it. Or concisely word what I am trying to say. So this post is pointless, I am sure.
this is the end.
chels.
i need to make a blogspot. but i think i'll stick to my journal. noone reads my fb notes anyways... :(
ReplyDeletei totally understand. i ask myself those questions all the time. I actually worry about that stuff too much. so don't do that. God has you where he wants you right now. just stay focused on him and enjoy your life. it will all work out in the end.
ps. i'm coming to kidnap you sometime.