some of my favorite letters to the editor

part of my communication merit badge is to write a letter to an editor, and here are some of my favorites so far:

Dear Editor,

We saved the camp from a fire that the sun made. It probably would have burned the camp and cost maybe millions. But I got to the administration building and warn them about it and they put it out. I had to ditch my buddy because he passed out ¾ of the way. But I went all the way without stopping. I learned what doing a good turn daily means doing the right thing to keep people safe. Me, you, everyone and help out. I geuss I have God to thank for that. God and Brad Paisley.

Sincerely, Chris

Letter to Sports Illustrated:

The last issue you sent to me was horrific! I mean seriously you put in the male-senior hopscotch championships?! Why in the world would you have 10 pages of 76 year old men in shorts without shirts on skipping?!? In the future if you don’t want every person that subscribes to your magazine to stop subscribing never add stories like that agian or your magazine will die!

Sincerely, Nicholas

Dear Editor,

I was recently reading an article about tic-tac-toe in your magazine. I would like to express my opinion concerning the subject. I don’t think of tic-tac-toe as a mere game, but as a skirmish of wits. Tic-tac-toe shouldn’t be played by trying to wait for your opponent to make a mistake but to force them to make a mistake. I think tic-tac-toe should be taken more seriously and should no be thought as simple, but as a sophisticated battle of wit and wills.

Sincerely, Josh

Dear Editor,

We can solve the BP Gulf of Mexico problem, with the nuclear solution. Since a nuclear bomb gives off intense heat we could just use that, it would turn all the ocean sand to glass, that way we wouldn’t have to search for oil. Also it would kill and cook all the fish, making instant fish sticks.

Sincerely Daniel

PS I am the bestest student ever

Dear Editor,

As any true pokemaster knows, Pokemon Black and White Versions are scheduled to be released in Japan in August. The same game with an English patch will be releasing in America around January. Personally I am outraged by the furthering of this already drawn out series. It has gone on too long. The pokemon company only has draw new pokemon sprites rearrange the map, and upgrade the graphics to the newest console. It is a ridiculous tradition and we must inform our children of this corporate scam.

Good Day, Calvin

this is the end.

chels.